Every time I hand in my work and I get my Tutors comments I end up exhausted! A piece of me goes with my work.
When I speak to Collete it all makes sence and then I am left with a thousand questions and a load of insecurities. I start concentrating on the things I need to improve and I get side tracked.
I have been so exited with Collettes feed back and then I come down from the clouds and I am left with self dought.
As I’m feeling healthier and without the dread of Quimo or radiotherapy looming over me I feel scared – silly ! I understand now how a writer or artist who depended on drugs could feel after recovering. How scared they must feel at the thought of not producing something as good or meaningful. In a funny sort of way (without the drug dependency) that’s how I feel. You see, when I have been ill I have felt more sensitive and receptive. I have seeked quietness, I have observed and I think that’s reflected in my work. now that I’m getting healthier will I observe as much? Will I be as receptive and sensitive to everything around me?
Of course I am very pleased that I’m on the road to recovery and I’m equally happy about my tutors comments. I will take them all on board! But I always feel that I am missing a trick. I need to reflect more! I need to reference my work with the artist that inspire me. As it is I feel that all I do is reflect to the point; I feel I’m being self indulgent.
I feel I need to take all my work out and guess what I’m going to do?
Yes! Reflect some more and then try and put my thoughts down.
Wish me luck!